


Hero

by HopeCoppice



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Insecure Aziraphale, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 03:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19433335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeCoppice/pseuds/HopeCoppice
Summary: Aziraphale wants something - someone - far out of his reach, and he's not fond of the sensation.





	Hero

**Author's Note:**

> I started this late last night and finished it early this morning, and I fear it shows.
> 
> For reference, those of you unfamiliar with the Andrex puppy should know that it is a golden labrador, and that it is the mascot for a toilet paper company whose tagline used to be "soft, strong, and long". This may or may not be relevant in the bit of the story where I sort of lost my mind a bit. Anyway, I'd put Crowley through the wringer of insecurities, so I thought this was only fair.

> _Now that the world isn't ending_
> 
> _It's love that I'm sending to you_
> 
> _It isn't the love of a hero_
> 
> _And that's why I fear it won't do  
>    
>  _ ~Nickelback, _Hero_

Aziraphale had known he loved Crowley for a long time. Not, perhaps, since the beginning, not since the Ark or that blasted hill where they'd hung men on crosses and left them to die, not even since he'd literally seen him dressed as a knight in - well, if not shining, then at least reasonably presentable armour. It was probably his jealousy over Shakespeare, that insufferable flirt, that had given him the first inkling, and if he hadn't been sure after that then those six decades without him had certainly proved the point. Aziraphale was, and perhaps always had been, hopelessly in love with his opposite number, and he had never had the slightest idea what to do about it.

So Crowley had tempted, and Aziraphale had thwarted, and then the world had ended, only it hadn't, and they were their own side now, the two of them against Heaven and Hell and the world in between, if it came to that, which they were rather hoping it wouldn't. It was a terrible time for a confession, and yet Aziraphale couldn't bear being dishonest to Crowley, not now they were finally free.

"I mean, really, angel, has there never been _anyone_ you were tempted by?" Crowley had been talking, Aziraphale realised, probably about work, but now seemed as good a time as any.

 _"You_ tempt me."

"Well, of course, in a professional sort of capacity - I tempt, you thwart, that's the job. But I mean-"

"Actually, that's not what I meant- I apologise, you were talking, rude of me to interrupt, do carry on." He tore a slice of bread in half and flung it at a duck with such force that the duck elected to give it up as a bad job and just get out of the lake. Aziraphale kept his eyes firmly on the bread as it sank, all too aware that Crowley had taken his sunglasses off and was leaning in curiously, yellow eyes unblinking as he studied the flustered angel. Aziraphale could feel himself turning red, and if he could stop himself being drunk in a matter of seconds then why in a Higher Authority's name couldn't he just switch off embarrassment?

"No, no, you go ahead. What did you mean?"

"Oh, nothing. I don't know." Crowley raised a devastatingly suspicious eyebrow, and Aziraphale crumbled. "Well. Well, it's just that when you asked me to run away with you, I very nearly did."

"Well, yeah. The world was ending-"

"What I mean, Crowley, is that- that I love you, and I have for _ages_ , and I'm sorry."

For a moment, the world seemed to hang, motionless, between the past and the future, and Aziraphale caught himself wondering vaguely where the Bentley's starting crank was. A duck quacked, breaking the illusion, and Crowley hissed, "Shut it, you, we're having a moment," with such unexpected tenderness that Aziraphale wanted to cry. _He_ wanted that tenderness. He wanted Crowley to speak to _him_ in that half-wondrous, half-euphoric tone, and he briefly entertained the notion of asking the duck how on earth it had earned it. But then Crowley was speaking again, his voice unchanged, and Aziraphale realised that it _was_ for him, somehow. "Why are you sorry, angel?"

"Because I don't deserve to love you, not after you saved the world."

Aziraphale had watched Crowley attempt to eat soup with a fork, once, one night when they were far too drunk to remember that miracles were a thing, and his mind was irresistibly drawn back to the memory now, as the demon tried to get his mouth into the right shape to form words.

 _"I_ saved the world?"

"Well, undoubtedly the children played their part, but you-"

 _"We-_ I mean- You can't possibly think you were, what, a bystander in all this?" Crowley had never seemed so incredulous in all the time Aziraphale had known him, and he was right to be, really.

"No, I don't!" The demon relaxed a fraction, but Aziraphale wasn't done. "I wasn't a bystander, I was a knave and a villain. I almost shot him, Crowley, that poor boy!"

"That was- you were- you didn't, anyway."

"Only because the woman stopped me. I got it wrong, as usual, so very wrong. And you're a hero-"

"Ugh, no, don't-"

"-A _hero,_ " he repeated stubbornly, "and I'm just lucky I didn't make things worse."

"Nonsense." Crowley had his hands on Aziraphale's shoulders, now, and Aziraphale had absolutely no idea when he'd put them there. "I was egging you on the whole way. We were both doing the best we could with what we had."

"Were we?" He didn't know whether to try to shake some sense into Crowley or just burst into tears; he could feel his eyes getting all wet. "I had my flaming sword back, and everything, and a handful of human _children_ did more good with it than me. And there you went, stopping time, giving young Adam the push he needed... I'm soft, and useless, and terribly unworthy of you."

"What utter rot." Crowley scoffed. "I only stopped time because _you_ made me pull myself together and fight. I was only there at all because of you. Heaven, I only cared about the world ending in the first place because you were in it."

Aziraphale frowned at him. "Now, that's not true. You _love_ the world."

"I love _you._ You didn't see me trying to run away to Alpha Centauri with _the world_ , did you?"

A horrible silence hung in the air as they both realised what the demon had said. For a moment, Crowley looked as though he'd very much like to turn back time by about a minute and remove his own tongue, but then he shrugged.

"Well, it's the truth."

"But…"

"Come on, Aziraphale! You love me, for some reason-"

"Probably ineffable," Aziraphale mumbled, a spark of hope igniting somewhere in his chest and burning up all the air in his lungs, but Crowley wasn't done.

"-and I love you _because_ you're soft, and strong, and… and..." A golden Labrador puppy ran past, apparently intent on catching a duck, and suddenly both celestial beings were fighting back giggles.

"Long?" Aziraphale offered, and Crowley snorted.

"That remains to be seen, angel."

And with the tension spectacularly broken, Aziraphale remembered the old adage that actions speak louder than words. If Crowley didn't care about his mistakes, Aziraphale wasn't going to let them stand in his way, either. He grabbed the grinning demon by the collar and pulled him into a kiss.

When they broke apart, Crowley was still smiling, but it had softened into something warm and sincere.

"...And _mine_ ," he finished, belatedly, and kissed him back. And whatever else Aziraphale was, he was certainly that.


End file.
